Book Review: Elizabeth Strout’s ‘The Things We Never Say’ Explores the Unspoken Weight of Ordinary Lives

In her Booker Prize-shortlisted novel ‘The Things We Never Say’, Elizabeth Strout turns her gaze to the quiet devastation of everyday life. The 224-page novel, set in an unnamed coastal town in Massachusetts, is steeped in silence and melancholy. It reveals that even among people who have lived and loved together for decades, one may never truly know the secrets or burdens the other carries.

This is the third novel by the renowned American novelist to be nominated for the Booker Prize. ‘My Name is Lucy Barton’ was longlisted in 2016, while ‘Oh William!’ made the shortlist in 2022. Strout first gained global attention in 2009 when she won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for ‘Olive Kitteridge’.

Strout’s writing excels at capturing the hidden, complex emotional moments in the lives of ordinary people. Her prose is simple and restrained. She focuses on snatches of conversation, memories, everyday actions, and private thoughts—an approach that makes her work deeply engaging.

Set against the backdrop of the post-COVID-19 pandemic and the US presidential election—a time when fear and helplessness gripped America and the world—the story intertwines personal crises with a turbulent national political landscape. Strout opens the book with a quote by Carl Jung about loneliness, suggesting that loneliness stems from an inability to share things that matter, rather than from physical isolation.

A Quiet Life, A Hidden Storm

The central character is Artie Dam, a 57-year-old high school history teacher and former ‘Massachusetts Teacher of the Year’. To the outside world, Artie leads an ordinary and happy life. He has friendly conversations with neighbours, attends celebrations with his wife Evie—a therapist who has been by his side for three decades—and takes leisurely boat trips on Massachusetts Bay during weekends. As a teacher, he teaches history to eleventh-grade students, fosters their critical thinking, corrects their mischief, and offers comfort to those in need.

Yet like many people, Artie leads a double life. Deep within, he is plagued by profound loneliness, despair, and suicidal tendencies. At one point, he describes a kind of numbness—a state where he has no desire to live, yet no desire to die either. Early in the novel, he asks his wife: “I wonder why people never say anything real?”

As the reader progresses, it becomes clear that Artie is not alone in this state. Many other characters also harbour deep sorrows, shattered dreams, and hopelessness. Artie’s personal anguish stems from both familial and political causes.

The Personal and the Political

The novel progresses by intertwining Artie’s emotional breakdown with the erosion of values in American society and politics. As a history teacher, he teaches topics like the American Civil War and World War II. He recognises that the current situation differs from how the nation faced crises in the past; he sees a country on the verge of self-destruction, having lost mutual respect and humanity. He is deeply troubled by growing political polarisation, the erosion of trust in democratic institutions, and mutual animosity among the people. He fears the nation is slipping out of control.

There is also an emotional disconnect in Artie and Evie’s marriage. Evie, who spends most of her time working as a family therapist, finds herself unable to empathise with her husband’s sorrows. Artie often feels that despite his attempts to be considerate, Evie finds him irritating.

Certain events in their lives have impacted their relationship. Ten years ago, their only son Rob was driving a car that met with an accident that claimed his girlfriend’s life. Although he survived, he has since been grappling with severe mental anguish and guilt. That tragedy transformed Artie and Evie in different ways: Artie became increasingly withdrawn, while Evie began to engage more with the outside world. Although Artie spent time with his son to help him cope, he failed to truly understand him.

Water, Freedom, and Near-Death

Artie’s conflict is primarily internal. Although he projects a friendly demeanour, he contemplates suicide due to the loneliness and despair he harbours within. To find relief, he often sails his boat in Massachusetts Bay. The sea and water are recurring motifs; his connection to the sea reflects his state of mind. He desires freedom, yet that very freedom could lead him into danger. The sea is also a symbol of uncertainty and danger.

The Booker Prize reading guide highlights water as a key element and links Artie’s sailing journey—and his near-death experience—to his inner life. While transferring from his small boat to a sailboat, Artie slips and falls, nearly drowning. Although he is rescued, the brush with death briefly reignites his will to live. One can interpret this inner awakening as suggesting that the solution to the collapse of public institutions and personal isolation lies in warm human connections and compassion.

The Secret That Changes Everything

The revelation of a major secret concerning Artie and Evie’s family marks a crucial turning point. This long-concealed secret comes to light when Rob discovers a letter written by another character while on his deathbed. It is a shocking revelation that turns Artie’s life upside down. Consequently, he is compelled to re-examine everything he believed about those closest to him. The emotional core of the novel lies in this moment, where Artie realises that every individual possesses their own private, inner world. The realisation that we can love another person without fully knowing them also becomes possible through the revelation of the secret.

Although the grief they harbour within connects Artie and his son Rob, they each experience it differently. Their relationship demonstrates that love alone is not always enough to comprehend or resolve tragedies.

In a sense, Artie Dam is also a victim of the times. He confronts and fears the destructive forces of the modern world—such as the pandemic, war, climate change, and personal anxieties. The core question the novel raises is why people do not openly express their true feelings. Just as individuals carry private burdens that remain unseen or unspoken, the novelist prompts readers to reflect on the things left unsaid.

A Novel of Restraint and Compassion

The Booker Prize judges commended the novel’s simplicity and restrained prose style. Strout employs a simple narrative style, avoiding complex phrasing or dramatic dialogue. She infuses the narrative with emotional intensity through small life moments, ordinary conversations, memories, and keen observations. This style makes the novel an enjoyable read while helping the reader grasp its underlying emotional depths.

Although the story primarily unfolds from Artie’s perspective, the viewpoint shifts occasionally to reveal how other characters perceive him. The novel is written mainly in a ‘third-person limited’ narrative style. This helps incorporate subplots, philosophical reflections, and broad social perspectives.

While portraying the despair and loneliness of an ordinary person as a universal experience, the book also speaks about the importance of love and truth that hold us close. As the title suggests, the novel implies that the absence of genuine communication—stemming from the things left unsaid—is a root cause of the breakdown of individuals, nations, and society. It is post-COVID isolation, the tendency to conceal truths, and the harbouring of hatred that ultimately erode social unity and resilience. The novel puts forward the pertinent idea that self-destruction is the fate of any society incapable of mutual sharing, understanding, and tolerance.

Elizabeth Strout’s ‘The Things We Never Say’ is an excellent read that serves as a mirror to the moral decline of contemporary society, while seamlessly blending profound compassion for humanity, a beautiful writing style, and deep insight.